you can figure it out
So apparently I don’t exactly give off an I-know-stuff-about-furniture vibe. This small bit of self knowledge was given to me by a small woman who I recently met at a local furniture establishment (SWIRMAALFE). I was there just to see what else was there. I had no intention of buying anything. I had no intention of paying their inflated prices. Having noticed my lack of actual furniture, I was out and about looking at what kind of things one might find, and what kind of prices stores might insist that one pay.
This would be a good time to mention my ideal merchandise shopping experience, just in the off chance that any of you ever go into retail. When I walk into a store, the only people I want near me are people who I knew before walking in the door or really before I even drive onto the property. I really would prefer that the sales staff act disinterested in me. If I am walking into a store, one of two things is true. Either I am there for a specific thing and most likely already know exactly what I want and where to find it, or I have nothing I am looking for specifically and just want to meander around. In either case, the sales staff is not of any help. If I do need help, I want to interrupt them, not the other way around. I simply don’t like people hovering around, and I don’t like having to deal with them. If I want help I will ask for it. If I don’t go to them, they should assume I don’t need help. Now back to my story.
The SWIRMAALFE did not have the benefit of reading the previous paragraph. As my foot crossed over the threshold of the door, I could see out of the corner of my eye a small streak of plaid dress making a beeline to me. I did my best to head purposefully in the other direction, but it was without hope. She might have been small, but her legs moved with SWIRMAALFEy determination. The ensuing conversation went something like this:
SWIRMAALFE: Good morning. Can I help you?
Me: No, I am just looking.
SWIRMAALFE: Are you sure I can’t help you find anything?
Me: Yes.
SWIRMAALFE: Have you ever been here before? Can I show you around?
Me: No I haven’t, but I think I can figure it out.
SWIRMAALFE: You can figure it out.
This last comment simply cannot be done justice in print. Those were the words she used, but what she actually said was, “What do you mean you can figure it out? You are lacking in any reasonable ability to find and/or evaluate the furniture in this store. By refusing my offered help, you are making the single greatest mistake in your life.” Some of you might have now noticed how this varies somewhat from my ideal situation. She did thankfully leave after this; or rather she didn’t continue to follow me as I walked away. I didn’t end up spending much time there in the end, as I always felt like someone was watching from behind the next sofa-bed, waiting to pounce the second I showed interest in anything. Oh well.
What a funny story! I know exactly what you mean! Furniture stores are probably not doing that well since people are using those funds to buy gasoline now. Therefore, the furniture store salespeople are probably very anxious to seel furniture and feed their families.