miracle with a side of fries
It has come to my attention that God has taken what I can only assume to be a part time job at either McDonalds or Mazda. This probably sounds absurd to those of you who are uninformed, but it is probably important that I clarify that I am neither high on any sort of drug, nor am I currently attending some new bizarre corporate sponsored church.
This bizarre miracle on wheels began last weekend. I stopped and got myself a large chocolate milk shake from the aforementioned McDonald’s. After I had finished my delicious treat, I set the gargantuan cup on the passenger seat, as its largeness hampered my ability to use the arm rest Mazda saw fit to include.
Flash forward a week. I was cleaning out my car, specifically the front passenger seat. I quickly saw evidence that the sweet residue from my milkshake and collected itself and made a run for it. First, it has run over a few loose cd’s , then onto a cd case, then a church bulletin. I was at this point very worried I was going to have a chocolate mess to clean up, but was relieved to find that it has stopped short of the actual seat. “Well that was convenient.” I thought, and happily went about my normal cleaning.
I then moved onto the back seat. I eventually found a large envelope under the front passenger seat. On this envelope I found a substantial pool of congealed milkshake. This confused me. I then checked the seat again, even going so far as to smell it to make sure it didn’t have a chocolate smell. The other stuff with the chocolate was definitely in the middle of the seat, as was the envelope. The chocolate definitely didn’t leave any indication of ever touching the fabric of the seat. The liquid seemingly flowed all over the stuff on the seat before becoming tired of the tedium of moving sequentially through space and time and skipping down 6 inches to appear from no where on the envelope. I have no explanation for this and thus my proposal of God’s new pastime.