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Tales of a Kidney Stone (Part 5)

Once again, I am back for the fifth and final installment of the great Kidney Stone adventure of 2008. If you haven’t done so already, you should probably read parts one, two, three and four first.

So once the surgery was scheduled, my anxiousness for its natural disappearing increased. Although I might have hoped for a last minute passing, I must have forgotten to tell Lester, because he stayed put. The day of the surgery arrived and once again I found Amy taking care of me. She drove me on down to the local outpatient surgery center, while I started giving pseudo-instructions on what to do if I was less than conscious for the rest of the day. Once at the office, I discovered that the surgery center must talk to Holmes Regional, and not only that they decided to up the ante. The records that said I was married to Amy Rogers was not removed after my last ER visit but was rather solidified my naming her Amy Goforth. Once again, Amy, who was actually with me, assured me that nothing happened without me knowing it. With the records corrected, and my vitals taken, I did the hospital dressing thing where I end up with nothing but a gown, thigh-high tights, some sticky socks, and a hair cap. Amy, of course, decided that it was a prime picture taking opportunity.

A quick doctor visit, an IV in the arm, and I was off to the surgery room. (Side Note: It’s not a good idea for me to write about surgery while watching a graphic episode of House. I just had to go lay down for a few minutes.) The basic of the surgery is that they take a laser and shoot the stone to break it into small pieces, removed the pieced and then put a plastic tube in its place that runs from my kidney to my bladder so that nothing swells up and causes more issues. This all takes place without making any incisions, which means they use “ahem” natural openings. This is what the doctor told me he was going to do before hand. For me the surgery went like this. I was told to sit on the table with my legs in stirrups (again with the pregnancy similarities) and my arms on little side wings. The anastasiologist attached something to my IV, and I had the following conversation. “Hey I am feeling kind of tingly all over. Is that suppose to happen?” “Yep, that is perfectly normal.” “Oh, good. Well, just so you know: it’s working. Hey, look! It’s the recovery room.” Seriously, it was if the hour and a half of surgery/recover happened mid-thought. I ended up walking out of the hospital just fine. Of course, for the next two weeks it hurt just thinking about going to the bathroom, but I was free of Lester, who by the way, I got a picture of courtesy of the operation camera. The left side is the whole stone, and the right side is after being on the business end of a laser.

The only thing left after that was the removal of the stint which was not comfortable at all. Unlike the surgery, I was awake for the removal of the stint with only local numbing, and the stint got stuck, twice, which turned 30 seconds of discomfort into 5 minutes. The nice thing though, was once that was done. It was done. That is to say all was done except the bills. Let me be the first to say how glad I am I have health insurance, and how shocked I am at the cost of medical care. One trip to the ER, without insurance, would have cost $7000 dollars. I went three times, plus a few urology visits, 4 CT scans, an ultrasound, and the whole kidney stone search and seizure. All told, if it weren’t for the health insurance, and in particular the maximum yearly out-of-pocket limit, I would have been out $33,724.28. All for a 4mm ball of calcium. If given the choice, I highly recommend not having kidney stones. If not given a choice, I highly recommend having an Amy around. It helps a lot. I seriously cannot express how thankful I am that she was around and willing to take care of me, even if she did feel helpless.

So there you have it, The Life and Times of Lester the Kidney Stone.